Visions and Voices

Amy Courson

Note: The original exhibition took place in 1998. In 2004 Amy made revisions to her statement to show how some of her views had changed.

I was adopted when I was a baby so I didn't have the opportunity to grow up surrounded by my culture and my people. I wish I knew my people and their traditions better. As I have grown older, regaining my culture and heritage has become very important to me.

Initially I was scared to begin learning about my heritage and culture. I was embarrassed for not knowing what other O’odham’s held sacred. I feared that if I tried to become more associated with my tribe they might turn me away or question why I was suddenly interested. I first got that feeling when I enrolled in the Tribe at age seventeen. It was a very difficult process that required me to answer many questions. I was questioned about why I was enrolling and why I had waited so long to discover who I was. As a teenager, I took many of the inquiries into my intentions as personal attacks.

Today, nearly ten years later, I realize that the initial reservation and skepticism I encountered was really people protecting the culture they held sacred. It was the reaction of people who have immense pride in who they are. It was the reaction of people who want you to care as deeply about their culture as they do. I still do not know all of the sacred holidays. As I try to learn my language, I mispronounce words or do not know the right word and it is frustrating. I have, however, gained friends who are willing to let me ask the “dumb” questions and guide me. Recently, a friend gave me a baby book to begin learning my language. Although I now have a graduate degree, the baby book is one of the most important educational books I have ever read. It is teaching me my culture and helping me to fully realize who I am.

There are many interesting things you can learn in school that you could not learn elsewhere. I must admit, many times I complained about the homework I was assigned. I disliked having to give up time to study when I could have been out doing something else. By going to college, I gave myself a gift that no one else can give me; I acquired skills to use in my life after I completed my undergraduate studies. Those skills led me to obtain a graduate degree. I have used both of my degrees to work on Indian issues and serve Indian people.

Many years ago, when I was asked how Indians should be portrayed I responded that I did not think that all pictures of Indians should be ones where they are peaceful. I felt Indians had many things to be angry about and that should be reflected. I thought if people saw nothing but pictures of happy Indians people might belittle what tribes had fought for. I also felt it was important to bring out Indians' other attributes, too. Indians are not "savage" people. They are very family, tribally, and religiously based people. They should be portrayed as a spiritual and family oriented people. Today I still do not feel there is one right way to portray Indians. I do, however, feel that Indian people should not be portrayed as desperate forgotten people living in desolate wastelands. Their lives are not wasted. Indian people are strong survivors, we just survive in unconventional ways.

Tribal affiliation:  Tohono O'odham

Image size:  14" x 18"   Medium:  Graphite